11 October 2003

bOrDeRiNg oN hAsSLeFeCk.

seriously. this week has been a horrible week where i've been sleeping an average of two hours a day, where i learned that what comes up, really must come down. in my case, its way, way down. hhhay.

it all started sunday, when i went to a meeting in abs for a planning session of the new show i'll be writing for. the meeting was at 9PM, and i thought at we'd finish around 2AM at the latest. well, i thought wrong. we finished at 8AM! the next day! goodness i was so tired and drained. the key to surviving in abs as a writer is knowing that you will never know what time you will finish work. so there, i went straight to my friend's condo in katipunan to fix our group theo paper, then went straight to makati cause i had work for youngstar magazine. my consolation for that shoot was, even if i didn't get sleep and had major eyebags, the make up was all charcoal colors in the eyes.. medyo patay yung look (so i fit the role), and we were at the cemetery. but the concept was pretty good so it was okay.

next big hassle was wednesday. okay, i'll give a little background. the job that i want when i graduate is to be a host and a producer.. more of like i write for a show and i host the show too, something to that effect. i was offered this exact job around two weeks ago, for this show i will be writing for. they were happy with what i did during auditions, and it was something that lots of other people knew already, so they were all congratulating me, "wow, you got the job! galing!" and stuff like that. but of course, again, in abs, management really has the final say. and along with it, comes the fact that they change their minds instantly and at the most unexpected times. i found out wednesday not only that i won't get to host the show, but that what we worked on all night sunday was useless as well.

last and definitely the biggest hassle ever, as i said bordering on hasslefeck, is our thesis defense. the whole sem, it was going okay.. our adviser was very happy with our concept. our first draft got a b, our second draft got a b+, and our final draft got a b+/a. we had mock defense last friday, and our teacher said it was a great presentation. also, every classmate we had under the same adviser who finished before us, all said that their defense was great. plus my groupmate bobby made a teaser video for our presentation that really kicked ass, and that everyone complimented! so it sounds like we were all set and everything's set for smooth sailing right? nooo. we had our real defense yesterday. it sUcKeD big time!! darn. our teacher wasn't expecting it at all, cause he was so confident in our thesis that he even invited a guest panelist from abs. and guess what! the guy he invited was one of my higher ups at work! of course our thesis was very theoretically based, based on related literature, and just focus group discussions, and its so different from the dog-eat-dog world in abs! so of course, our thesis was very much niche and not profit oriented.. very NoT abs!! so if i work there, why did i not use what i learned? you see in abs, all their guidelines are not written down anywhere, they're more like what oral tradition was like. its something you learn and just immerse yourself into. so, if we did put it, what would our source be, myself?! and i couldn't interview anyone from there on everything about abs culture and how they work because its too complicated to learn in one interview. and besides, we did follow everything our adviser said, so he shouldn't take it against us right?! i really cried out of frustration last night after defense.

don't get me wrong though.. despite the extremely tough culture they have in abs, i love working there. i love learning so many news things, and most especially, i love the people i work with.

it just sucks so bad that when everything goes great, you can't totally feel happy and at ease, because there's always the threat that it'll all blow up in your face. i'm usually such a sun-shiny person and i'm very optimistic, but after this week, i really just can't help but feel bad now.

too many bad things happening in too short a span of time. so what good things happened this week..? so that i can feel a little better.. (a blog's so self-serving i swear. :p)

1 - i finally got to buy two of my dream shoes - pink, high-cut chuck taylor's and cream ballerina shoes

2 - i got to go to puerto galera last tuesday! i really needed the break. plus, i got this really cute pink bikini for free.

3 -

hmm. apparently that's it. oh well. maybe next week will be better. after all, they do also say that when you're down, there's no way but up.

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